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Generally, if no one answers, then no one knows where to find what you what, if it exists at all. I'm not saying that to be nasty or anything. Just, you know, saying.
In any case, I don't know of a mod that makes the interaction completely non-autonomous, but there is a mod by twojeffs that makes it so that it doesn't happen if there's no music playing. It's the one called "No Dancing in Silence" on this page:
http://www.simbology.com/smf/index.php?topic=13.0 The dancing will still happen if there's music playing on the lot, but if there isn't music, you won't have autonomous dancing-on-toes at all.